Ashram House experience

On a personal level, I can say that the experience in the Ashram House is a beautiful one. If I had not been mucking around and playing games, taking advantage of the genuine volunteers who wanted to bring this work forward.

Daily schedule in the Ashram revolves around Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj and duties to keep the Ashram need and tidy.

Mandir decorated by Beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji

Clothes of Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj change by Beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji daily

I am so fortunate to witness how Sree Maa Shri Ji attends to Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj the entire day, it involves with performing Aarti, chanting, preparing bath for Shreeji Maharaj (Abhishek), changing clothes for Shreeji Maharaj, singing Bhajans, doing Malas, offering fruits, hot milk, breakfast, lunch and dinner to Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj and put Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj to rest for the day. I always have this feeling that the time has stopped in the Ashram House, there is no time and space concept ... it is without the interference from the outside world... I believe it’s because I was fortunate to be benefiting from the outpour of Sree Maa Shri Ji’s Love and Devotion towards Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj which has humbled me 🙏🙇🙏 

Just like how the participants of 5D++ AwaKeNiN & TrANsForMaTioN workshop who have benefitted from the communion of Sree Maa Shri Ji and Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj and receiving Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, 24 x 7.

Sree Maa Shri Ji always lead by example, the details that Sree Maa Shri Ji goes in putting the effort into serving Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj which puts me in awe always. Sree Maa Shri Ji has shown me that I need to put in my heart and soul when offering my service to anyone, show appreciation and gratitude for the many things that has bestowed upon in my life, take everything in life positively by seeing and reflect from within, do not steal credits of others and give due credits to others, respect and honour other’s effort and hard work, do not judge people, be honest and stand tall, do not be afraid of my own weaknesses and be in acceptance and it is totally okay to be imperfect… and many more.

I am ashamed to say that I have not brought any of these qualities when coming to the Ashram, all I did was deceit and groom my ego self.

Why would most people want to go to Monastery/Zen/Ashram experiences?

1. To discipline themselves, knowing that they need to look within on their own weaknesses, such as laziness, procrastination, lack of focus ...

2. To have a break from the worldly desires, give the soul a break, to rejuvenating soul and body

3. Self-discovery journey - to see own endurance level, to check on focus level, even to challenge the mind, body and spirit ...

If anyone who has experienced any monastery stay, Zen meditation workshop or even going on a pilgrimage stay will know that there are rules that need to be followed. As all the visitors know what they have sign up for, I believe this is what they wanted to experience in the first place.

Image from Sivananda Ashram Yoga Farm

There will be general rules like wake up early, meditation/prostrations/chanting/praying, vegetarian diet, some activities for the stay related experiences, early night … the list goes on… It is clear that this happens all over the world, some examples in the links below

• https://www.lonelyplanet.com/south-korea/seoul/travel-tips-and-articles/zen-retreat-a-beginners-guide-to-korean-temple-stays/40625c8c-8a11-5710-a052-1479d2766ff8
• https://japan-magazine.jnto.go.jp/en/1511_eiheiji.html

So for Dallia and Irene to claim that they were living in a camp is not true. Are they implying that all these monastery stay experiences are military camps? The truth is anyone who volunteers to join these programs will do a research about what they have signed up for isn't it, being a true blue narcissist, both Dallia and Irene are lying when they play victims to the world. They really think that they can fool everyone and gaslight the innocent people into believing their stories.

We have a lot of  free time in the Ashram House, if we choose to use these personal time to do our own things, it got nothing to do with Sree Maa Shri Ji or the Ashram House routine, Dallia and Irene agreed on the routine and now twisting the facts to make Sree Maa Shri Ji look bad, all I see from their action is retaliation because they are still in denial.

Ashram House Project

In the spiritual journey for many, I believe that at one point in time there will be thoughts of wanting to go on a spiritual retreat, to be away from the material world and give the soul a break to start looking within so that healing can happen.

In Japan, there is “Henro”, a walking route that takes in 88 temples on Japan’s southern island, a journey that leads toward self-discovery and personal growth, there are also seekers who go for a spiritual Zen meditation experience to seek to enter a state of selflessness by shutting out worldly desires. 

Henro Route
Image by nippon.com

Image by japan-magazine.jnto.go.jp

In Korea, Thailand visitors stay in the monastery to experience the lifestyle of a monk and In India, there are Ashram for spiritual seekers to visit their Gurus and receive discourses as a group.

The Ashram concept is no alien to anyone, it has only been explained and terms in a different way but the basic concept is the same, for the soul to have a break from this material world and seek soul relief during this period of time.

In 2016, some volunteers were inspired by the great love, devotion that Sree Maa Shri Ji has displayed during the Taupo retreat. Like-minded volunteers wanted to do something so that more spiritual seekers can benefit from this communion between Sree Maa Shri Ji and Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj.

So Rita and I volunteered to take the lead to start this project of an Ashram House so that we can learn and experience what an Ashram would be like if we want to build one in future. The idea is to have Sree Maa Shri Ji invited into the Ashram house so that the “setting” is more real and Sree Maa Shri Ji can share some guidance on how to run an Ashram.

We started the project in March 2016 when we found a house that was suitable to run the Ashram house project. We cordially invited Sree Maa Shri Ji to the Ashram house which Sree Maa Shri Ji graciously accepted.

Sree Maa Shri Ji has sacrificed personal time and space for us to come together and learn something in order for the Ashram project to be realized, the volunteers’ dream is to bring this Ashram project forward, build a place and space which is safe for anyone to come and seek shelter for spiritual upliftment through meditation, listening to discourses or reading scriptures. 

Sree Maa Shri Ji has graciously given us the tool, that is Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the platform which is the Ashram house to run. There is a Chinese saying, 师父领进门，修行在个人, you can lead a horse to the water but you can't make him drink, I am ashamed to say that few of us came with the wrong intention and were mucking around, I have contributed to the destruction of this sacred Ashram house project because when I saw how Dallia and Irene were displaying destructive acts and started to bully the volunteers in both subtle and outright manner, I sat on the fence and never red flag any of them as I chose self-protection over being a team player.

I have let Sree Maa Shri Ji down by acting small, playing games with the volunteers of Kosmic Fusion, being a flying monkey of Dallia, Irene and wasting precious time of Sree Maa Shri Ji for being a bystander because of self-preservation and not practising what is being taught by Sree Maa Shri Ji ... Honesty, Integrity and Authenticity

ALL KNOWING - See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Talk No Evil

Have you ever wonder how humans are created in the first place?  Or appreciating this amazing body that we have or wonder how such complex systems within this small physical body of ours operates on its own, how the veins are the plan in such delicate manner that it did not cross each other's path???... Questions that were raised by Sree Maa Shri Ji to make us reflect... After pondering ... I believe there is something greater out there which this peanut brain of mine will never comprehend… There must be someone out there who is all knowing …. the all-knowing, omnipresence, omnipotent …

Beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji 

Now looking back, Sree Maa Shri Ji has always been the ALL Knowing. In the FiT (Facilitator- in- training) program, I recalled Sree Maa Shri Ji shared a photo of “See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no Evil” to all of us. I was unable to see the warning that Sree Maa Shri Ji was giving to me ... TO STOP these acts before I regret, which I choose to bypass.

In Sree Maa Shri Ji’s teachings, multiple times of readings are required in order to grasp the many different levels of teachings that Sree Maa Shri Ji shares … Forewarning always has been given to all of us, including the ones who have the potential to choose the wrong path, just like what Dallia and Irene had taken ...

 QUOTE from Sree Maa Shri Ji:
‘Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil!’ What you did not learn as children were ‘Think no evil!’

On the hindsight, the message given was on 2 levels …

To the VICTIMS - Practice Discernment 

1. DO NOT to be blinded by what the perpetrators have presented to them
2. DO NOT listen with face value without finding the truth or have an overview of what was being told
3. DO NOT fall into the trap of the perpetrators and spread information that has not been verified

Another red flag by Sree Maa Shri Ji
To Victims - Do not be recruited as Flying Monkeys
To Narcissists - Do not use innocent people as our Flying Monkeys 

To the PERPETRATORS - STOP before it's too late

1. DO NOT try to pull wool over the victims’ eyes
2. DO NOT try to fill the victims’ ears with toxic lies and rumours
3. DO NOT try to slander and run a smear campaign

In the teachings of Sree Maa Shri Ji, it is always about the righteous way of living, practise discernment and does not harm anyone due to personal agenda and while all these are being taught … Sree Maa Shri Ji have put themselves on the table and being the sacrificial lambs so that we can learn something valuable.

Reminder to us by Sree Maa Shri Ji 

First encounter ....

Being in my delusion world, my made believed reality. I was in my game of search for spiritual liberation and that I am ready for the Absolute TRUTH… On the hindsight, I see that I am lying to myself and beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji.

I made use of Sree Maa Shri Ji to get me a job in New Zealand with my sob stories, Sree Maa Shri Ji being kind as always recommended me to Rita, who is also a volunteer of Kosmic Fusion, instead of working for Rita and respecting Rita like a boss, I started to fight with her. I have breached the trust given by Sree Maa Shri Ji by behaving in an ungrateful manner.

As I was a co-dependent narcissist, I was triggered by Rita and all my narcissist traits vomited out like a fountain, I could not suppress myself in front of her, my mask fell apart, I was in competition with her, wanting to put her down as I cannot stand to see her better than me, I was unable to stand Rita’s façade as I was able to see through her games because I was doing the same as well. My narcissism came back full power… my evil, mean nasty self was at its peak.

Dallia, who was the master of manipulator, a full blown malignant narcissist, saw the crack and took the opportunity to create wedges between Rita and myself, she poisoned me with negative comments about Rita, such as pointing out to me that Rita has trust issues with her when she was working in her shop (also with recommendation by Sree Maa Shri Ji), that Rita was wearing revealing clothes to get guys attention … all these while to hide the fact that she wanted to get even with both me and Rita.

Why would anyone want to do that? Being a Malignant narcissist, she cannot see anyone having something that she cannot have due to excessive jealousy and envy. Dallia needed to punish Rita for owning a business, house, car, wearing expensive clothes and carrying branded bags when she has to struggle to live within her means. Dallia needed to punish me for taking the job/position that she was eyeing in Rita's shop for so long, which she sees as her entitlement 

….

This is just the beginning of me being played by the narcissists around me…. the hint which is given by Sree Maa Shri Ji that I choose to bypass ..... QUOTE:  “ when you are playing others, others are playing you”

Learn ... Un-Learn ... Re-Learn

In my journey of self-discovery... I am given the platform to Learn, Un-Learn and Re-Learn about my self, Self, SELF ...My beloved Guru/Mentor Sree Maa Shri Ji are always there to give support, encouragement in every little step I take so that I have the strength to work on myself... I am so grateful and thankful to my Guru/Mentor Sree Maa Shri Ji for the unconditional LOVE and Grace for embracing me for who I am.

Sree Maa Shri Ji has always maintained full transparency to the public that Sree Maa Shri Ji's teaching is about the Absolute TRUTH ... which is very difficult for general public to digest as the antidote is to summon our courage to get ugly with our EGO self and the seekers who are lost and have been searching for an answer to freed themselves from their own melodramas, will be shared with the Absolute TRUTH ... no sugar coating. 

Not everyone wants to accept the ABSOLUTE TRUTH

This is the USP of Sree Maa Shri Ji's teachings which I love the most.

Since day 1, I have always been shared about the importance of Honesty, Integrity and Authenticity in Sree Maa Shri Ji's teachings, NEVER once I had been misled into anything I am not ready.

I am sick and tired of my old self and for ONCE, wanted to make change for the betterment of my soul. Life cannot be just about “EAT...SLEEP and DEATH” …. there must be something more … as I continue my journey of searching ...most answers I have gotten from other spiritual groups were unable to give a satisfactory answer to "What's beyond death" … the answers were so vague and I became more lost as I was feeling more confused ... until I found Sree Maa Shri Ji. I am able to resonate with what Sree Maa Shri Ji is teaching, deep down I was screaming to myself "This is the one! Never let it go!" since then I became a volunteer for Kosmic Fusion. I can NEVER say that I do not know what I have signed up for because this is what I am looking for ... the Absolute TRUTH!

This is the what happens to the world right now ...

Life changing moment

I was happily married to a nice guy for 5 years, I was being pampered and showered with Love and care. I started to show my true self to him, being demanding, unreasonable, throwing tantrums, giving him silent treatment or doing my sudden “disappearance” show to make him worried. Played with his mind, giving him additional stress on a daily basis.

Finally, he was unable to cope with my games and filed for a divorce. He maintained “NO CONTACT” rule because he sees that Narcissistic traits in me. He left a comment to me that “ I felt cheated into this marriage as you are not the same person I fell in love with” So true it is …. I was wearing the mask of a 2 faced liar … that Miss goodies shoes are NEVER me, it’s just a fake Identity that I used. To expose a Narcissist, spend time with us as we can NEVER keep our mask for 24 hours a day.

NO Contact Rule

Being a co-dependent narcissist, my world fell apart when my supplies left me. I went into hibernation, depression and cut myself off from people around me. This is the time I went crazy and nearly mental because of my self-inflicted pain and suffering as I was in total denial. I went on a spiritual spree to seek a remedy for this emptiness that I was feeling inside, I desperately wanted to heal myself… that’s where I found Sree Maa Shri Ji in the exhibition. I always remember the first day I met  Sree Maa Shri Ji, it was their warmth and welcoming vibes that attracted me to their booth.

I first went for tarot readings, aura soma reading sessions with Sree Maa Shri Ji as I wanted to find out more about what went wrong in my marriage due to the need to be in control. I wanted to make changes in my life with the easy way out. As usual, trying to find fault with anything except myself.

All these while, I was abusing  Sree Maa Shri Ji’s kindness and went to the apartment,  join Sree Maa Shri Ji for dinner, get a free consultation, healing sessions on my off days. My twisted mind justifying my act by saying  Sree Maa Shri Ji are being so kind but never once reflected that I was imposing myself on Sree Maa Shri Ji's personal time and space, taking full advantage of Sree Maa Shri Ji as I was playing the victim of my failed marriage.

Sree Maa Shri Ji knew that I was in financial difficulty and offered me many of the free NEW clothing, accessories so that I can start to build my self-confidence in order to move on with my life.

What I though of myself vs who I am …. living in one owns bubble

Anger, revengeful, spiteful, anti-social, self-destructive, low self-esteem… are the few of the many traits that I have since young. I have always known that deep down inside, I have the dark traits in me. I had this belief that my deep-seated anger can destroy the world if unleashed. As I grow older, I learnt that these traits are not welcome at all .. slowly I conditioned myself into someone that I am not … a 2 faced liar who hid my real personality from the world.

In order to justify my own actions, I lived in my self-created bubble, I projected myself as a martyr, a altruism who has the vision to save the world to people so that I can strike when times come.

I am a living twilight who used to switch sides to suit my agenda. When playing the victim, I will see this world as harsh and cruel, I want out of this game. When I played as a victimizer, destruction thoughts crept in which I gave myself the liberty to act like a villain.

Living in denial, not wanting to face the truth of myself is the biggest mistake of my life. All the years wasted on living in a façade, belief when time could be spent on reflection and corrective actions for my soul upliftment. Now looking back, my fake identity of Miss goodies is nothing but a big fat lie.

I learnt to acknowledge that I have desires of wanting to be loved, understood, appreciated, in order to compensate for my inferiority complex, I projected it at the expense of others, by belittling their personality with gossips, slandering other by spreading rumour due to my jealousy and envy, created lies and traps to take advantage of people’s kindness, procrastination, running away from responsibilities, afraid to come out from my comfort zone, never trust anyone, lack of passion in anything as I have a short span of interest, dishonest…. and many more

Yes, you are looking at shades of a narcissism in me …. so how many types of narcissists are there you will ask … there are many and I am so fortunate… unfortunate for the some… that I crossed path on a close encounter with them. Interestingly having shades of narcissism myself has been a victim of a narcissist as well! Isn't that an irony for me …. which I will share my adventures in my next few blogs

Common terms used in Narcissism