Ashram House Project

In the spiritual journey for many, I believe that at one point in time there will be thoughts of wanting to go on a spiritual retreat, to be away from the material world and give the soul a break to start looking within so that healing can happen.

In Japan, there is “Henro”, a walking route that takes in 88 temples on Japan’s southern island, a journey that leads toward self-discovery and personal growth, there are also seekers who go for a spiritual Zen meditation experience to seek to enter a state of selflessness by shutting out worldly desires. 

Henro Route
Image by nippon.com

Image by japan-magazine.jnto.go.jp

In Korea, Thailand visitors stay in the monastery to experience the lifestyle of a monk and In India, there are Ashram for spiritual seekers to visit their Gurus and receive discourses as a group.

The Ashram concept is no alien to anyone, it has only been explained and terms in a different way but the basic concept is the same, for the soul to have a break from this material world and seek soul relief during this period of time.

In 2016, some volunteers were inspired by the great love, devotion that Sree Maa Shri Ji has displayed during the Taupo retreat. Like-minded volunteers wanted to do something so that more spiritual seekers can benefit from this communion between Sree Maa Shri Ji and Bhagwan Shreeji Maharaj.

So Rita and I volunteered to take the lead to start this project of an Ashram House so that we can learn and experience what an Ashram would be like if we want to build one in future. The idea is to have Sree Maa Shri Ji invited into the Ashram house so that the “setting” is more real and Sree Maa Shri Ji can share some guidance on how to run an Ashram.

We started the project in March 2016 when we found a house that was suitable to run the Ashram house project. We cordially invited Sree Maa Shri Ji to the Ashram house which Sree Maa Shri Ji graciously accepted.

Sree Maa Shri Ji has sacrificed personal time and space for us to come together and learn something in order for the Ashram project to be realized, the volunteers’ dream is to bring this Ashram project forward, build a place and space which is safe for anyone to come and seek shelter for spiritual upliftment through meditation, listening to discourses or reading scriptures. 

Sree Maa Shri Ji has graciously given us the tool, that is Quantum Vortex Scalar Wave Photon Pulse, the platform which is the Ashram house to run. There is a Chinese saying, 师父领进门，修行在个人, you can lead a horse to the water but you can't make him drink, I am ashamed to say that few of us came with the wrong intention and were mucking around, I have contributed to the destruction of this sacred Ashram house project because when I saw how Dallia and Irene were displaying destructive acts and started to bully the volunteers in both subtle and outright manner, I sat on the fence and never red flag any of them as I chose self-protection over being a team player.

I have let Sree Maa Shri Ji down by acting small, playing games with the volunteers of Kosmic Fusion, being a flying monkey of Dallia, Irene and wasting precious time of Sree Maa Shri Ji for being a bystander because of self-preservation and not practising what is being taught by Sree Maa Shri Ji ... Honesty, Integrity and Authenticity

First encounter ....

Being in my delusion world, my made believed reality. I was in my game of search for spiritual liberation and that I am ready for the Absolute TRUTH… On the hindsight, I see that I am lying to myself and beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji.

I made use of Sree Maa Shri Ji to get me a job in New Zealand with my sob stories, Sree Maa Shri Ji being kind as always recommended me to Rita, who is also a volunteer of Kosmic Fusion, instead of working for Rita and respecting Rita like a boss, I started to fight with her. I have breached the trust given by Sree Maa Shri Ji by behaving in an ungrateful manner.

As I was a co-dependent narcissist, I was triggered by Rita and all my narcissist traits vomited out like a fountain, I could not suppress myself in front of her, my mask fell apart, I was in competition with her, wanting to put her down as I cannot stand to see her better than me, I was unable to stand Rita’s façade as I was able to see through her games because I was doing the same as well. My narcissism came back full power… my evil, mean nasty self was at its peak.

Dallia, who was the master of manipulator, a full blown malignant narcissist, saw the crack and took the opportunity to create wedges between Rita and myself, she poisoned me with negative comments about Rita, such as pointing out to me that Rita has trust issues with her when she was working in her shop (also with recommendation by Sree Maa Shri Ji), that Rita was wearing revealing clothes to get guys attention … all these while to hide the fact that she wanted to get even with both me and Rita.

Why would anyone want to do that? Being a Malignant narcissist, she cannot see anyone having something that she cannot have due to excessive jealousy and envy. Dallia needed to punish Rita for owning a business, house, car, wearing expensive clothes and carrying branded bags when she has to struggle to live within her means. Dallia needed to punish me for taking the job/position that she was eyeing in Rita's shop for so long, which she sees as her entitlement 

….

This is just the beginning of me being played by the narcissists around me…. the hint which is given by Sree Maa Shri Ji that I choose to bypass ..... QUOTE:  “ when you are playing others, others are playing you”

Learn ... Un-Learn ... Re-Learn

In my journey of self-discovery... I am given the platform to Learn, Un-Learn and Re-Learn about my self, Self, SELF ...My beloved Guru/Mentor Sree Maa Shri Ji are always there to give support, encouragement in every little step I take so that I have the strength to work on myself... I am so grateful and thankful to my Guru/Mentor Sree Maa Shri Ji for the unconditional LOVE and Grace for embracing me for who I am.

Sree Maa Shri Ji has always maintained full transparency to the public that Sree Maa Shri Ji's teaching is about the Absolute TRUTH ... which is very difficult for general public to digest as the antidote is to summon our courage to get ugly with our EGO self and the seekers who are lost and have been searching for an answer to freed themselves from their own melodramas, will be shared with the Absolute TRUTH ... no sugar coating. 

Not everyone wants to accept the ABSOLUTE TRUTH

This is the USP of Sree Maa Shri Ji's teachings which I love the most.

Since day 1, I have always been shared about the importance of Honesty, Integrity and Authenticity in Sree Maa Shri Ji's teachings, NEVER once I had been misled into anything I am not ready.

I am sick and tired of my old self and for ONCE, wanted to make change for the betterment of my soul. Life cannot be just about “EAT...SLEEP and DEATH” …. there must be something more … as I continue my journey of searching ...most answers I have gotten from other spiritual groups were unable to give a satisfactory answer to "What's beyond death" … the answers were so vague and I became more lost as I was feeling more confused ... until I found Sree Maa Shri Ji. I am able to resonate with what Sree Maa Shri Ji is teaching, deep down I was screaming to myself "This is the one! Never let it go!" since then I became a volunteer for Kosmic Fusion. I can NEVER say that I do not know what I have signed up for because this is what I am looking for ... the Absolute TRUTH!

This is the what happens to the world right now ...

Life changing moment

I was happily married to a nice guy for 5 years, I was being pampered and showered with Love and care. I started to show my true self to him, being demanding, unreasonable, throwing tantrums, giving him silent treatment or doing my sudden “disappearance” show to make him worried. Played with his mind, giving him additional stress on a daily basis.

Finally, he was unable to cope with my games and filed for a divorce. He maintained “NO CONTACT” rule because he sees that Narcissistic traits in me. He left a comment to me that “ I felt cheated into this marriage as you are not the same person I fell in love with” So true it is …. I was wearing the mask of a 2 faced liar … that Miss goodies shoes are NEVER me, it’s just a fake Identity that I used. To expose a Narcissist, spend time with us as we can NEVER keep our mask for 24 hours a day.

NO Contact Rule

Being a co-dependent narcissist, my world fell apart when my supplies left me. I went into hibernation, depression and cut myself off from people around me. This is the time I went crazy and nearly mental because of my self-inflicted pain and suffering as I was in total denial. I went on a spiritual spree to seek a remedy for this emptiness that I was feeling inside, I desperately wanted to heal myself… that’s where I found Sree Maa Shri Ji in the exhibition. I always remember the first day I met  Sree Maa Shri Ji, it was their warmth and welcoming vibes that attracted me to their booth.

I first went for tarot readings, aura soma reading sessions with Sree Maa Shri Ji as I wanted to find out more about what went wrong in my marriage due to the need to be in control. I wanted to make changes in my life with the easy way out. As usual, trying to find fault with anything except myself.

All these while, I was abusing  Sree Maa Shri Ji’s kindness and went to the apartment,  join Sree Maa Shri Ji for dinner, get a free consultation, healing sessions on my off days. My twisted mind justifying my act by saying  Sree Maa Shri Ji are being so kind but never once reflected that I was imposing myself on Sree Maa Shri Ji's personal time and space, taking full advantage of Sree Maa Shri Ji as I was playing the victim of my failed marriage.

Sree Maa Shri Ji knew that I was in financial difficulty and offered me many of the free NEW clothing, accessories so that I can start to build my self-confidence in order to move on with my life.

Symptoms of narcissistic traits since young

Since young, I believed that I am special and that I am this GOD send being who has come to save the world…the one who is so kind and fragile that the ONLY victim in this entire world in ME, MYSELF and I…

I grew up feeling like a victim and martyr … which naturally arises this false sense of entitlement from within. With this, I started my quest to get my supplies by playing weak to gain sympathy and attention.

The truth is I had this rage inside of me, I hated the world. I wanted to take revenge on the adults who had put me down and control me because I am not able to fend myself, humiliated me (my Ego was hurt) when I am crippled by my own age. I wanted to rebel, to freed from their clutches!!! Rage gives me the “power” and makes me feel strong as I was in denial and did not want to face the weakness in me.

Being eldest among all the siblings, I was fortunate … to experience being the Golden Child, that all attention has been showered upon me for 3 years before my sister was born. As I am an average child,  my academic results were not good in comparison with my siblings who went to well-known schools, I was made the scapegoat for making my family “lose face”. When I got my divorce, I became the Black-sheep in the family when I was perceived as the bad apple in the basket. 

My family is never good with expression, the “good” intention of caring is being shown by being showered with sarcastic words, scoldings and some ‘punishment” for being naughty. Physical hugs and expression of emotions were never encouraged. I grew up being socially awkward and jealousy, envious grew in me towards people who openly and freely display their affections. I was the bitter one and wanted to take that joy away from them because I cannot have it…..