Being in my delusion world, my made believed reality. I was in my game of search for spiritual liberation and that I am ready for the Absolute TRUTH… On the hindsight, I see that I am lying to myself and beloved Sree Maa Shri Ji.
I made use of Sree Maa Shri Ji to get me a job in New Zealand with my sob stories, Sree Maa Shri Ji being kind as always recommended me to Rita, who is also a volunteer of Kosmic Fusion, instead of working for Rita and respecting Rita like a boss, I started to fight with her. I have breached the trust given by Sree Maa Shri Ji by behaving in an ungrateful manner.
As I was a co-dependent narcissist, I was triggered by Rita and all my narcissist traits vomited out like a fountain, I could not suppress myself in front of her, my mask fell apart, I was in competition with her, wanting to put her down as I cannot stand to see her better than me, I was unable to stand Rita’s façade as I was able to see through her games because I was doing the same as well. My narcissism came back full power… my evil, mean nasty self was at its peak.
Dallia, who was the master of manipulator, a full blown malignant narcissist, saw the crack and took the opportunity to create wedges between Rita and myself, she poisoned me with negative comments about Rita, such as pointing out to me that Rita has trust issues with her when she was working in her shop (also with recommendation by Sree Maa Shri Ji), that Rita was wearing revealing clothes to get guys attention … all these while to hide the fact that she wanted to get even with both me and Rita.
Why would anyone want to do that? Being a Malignant narcissist, she cannot see anyone having something that she cannot have due to excessive jealousy and envy. Dallia needed to punish Rita for owning a business, house, car, wearing expensive clothes and carrying branded bags when she has to struggle to live within her means. Dallia needed to punish me for taking the job/position that she was eyeing in Rita's shop for so long, which she sees as her entitlement
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This is just the beginning of me being played by the narcissists around me…. the hint which is given by Sree Maa Shri Ji that I choose to bypass ..... QUOTE: “ when you are playing others, others are playing you”
